


Softly, Fiercely

by WitchoftheWaste



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gwen has to ogle in secret, Morgana has issues, Train Meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 01:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7199423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchoftheWaste/pseuds/WitchoftheWaste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen sees a beautiful woman on the London underground and can't stop thinking about her. She even manages to talk to the mysterious woman. Eventually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Softly, Fiercely

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from a poem by Louise Gluck. The full quote is: 'Only (softly, fiercely) / the stars shining.'
> 
> Once again, I must warn you all that this work is unbeta'd, so any mistakes are my own.

The first time Gwen saw her, she actually stared open mouthed. Only for a moment, mind you. But her stomach was doing that flippy thing and it was hard to focus. The woman was so... elegant. What was she doing on the Tube anyway?

Gwen looked back down at her book, and peered very subtly at the girl out of the corner of her eye. _I'm a secret agent,_ she thought to herself, grinning. The girl was flicking through her phone, a look of intense concentration on her face. And - Gwen's breath caught - she was so exquisitely dressed. A dove grey suit that couldn't be anything but tailor made, and brought to mind 1950s films and Grace Kelly; a pair of white gloves, one delicately removed so that she could swipe at her phone. The woman's hair was piled up on top of her head, but Gwen found herself smiling to herself as she saw a few wisps escaping. She was _beautiful._

Gwen shook her head to herself and sighed. She was getting poetic about a girl who she knew nothing about and who she had only just seen. How shallow was that? Besides, an outfit like that... Gwen didn't know if she wanted to date her or if she wanted to be her.

She briefly considered texting Merlin for advice, but... Not after last time, where she had got an incredibly _detailed_ message apparently intended for Arthur. Gwen blushed just thinking about it. Besides, she could do without Merlin mocking her for the next month about getting hot and bothered over a complete stranger.

Gwen did not exactly spend the rest of the journey sneaking covert glances at the woman. She just... looked up occasionally. At her fellow passengers.

* * *

Two weeks later, she was running late and dashed through the doors of the train at the very last second. Only to fall into someone very beautiful. And all too familiar.

Gwen would be lying to herself if she said that she hadn't thought about the gorgeous woman from the Tube in the past few weeks, but she hadn't seen her again and so...

The woman didn't seem to notice her, even though Gwen had practically cannoned into her. As she righted herself, apologising quietly, Gwen stole a glance up at her face, and for a moment wondered if it was even the same woman. She had the same features, certainly, but her style was so different.

The woman was wearing tight leather trousers, and Gwen realised quite how much of those beautiful legs had been obscured by the demure grey suit.  She had to sternly squash the part of herself that wanted to reach out and _touch_.

Unlike before, the woman had huge panda-eyes of makeup and dark lipstick. Her hair was loose this time, and Gwen felt her heart stutter as she was overwhelmed by a sudden desire to bury her face in it.

Gwen shook her head to herself and found a seat. A seat that just happened to have a good view of the woman, who had apparently completely failed to notice her presence. Beautiful, but a snob, Gwen thought sadly to herself.

Sneaking another glance at her, Gwen felt a strange pang of sympathy. The woman looked tired. Defiant, but sad and alone. Gwen had to repress a strange urge to go up and hug her.

What was wrong with her? A desire to hug people on the Tube was not normal! No matter how amazing they looked.

She pretended to send emails on her phone until the train reached the woman's stop. Peering out of the dingy window at the retreating figure of the woman, Gwen felt her heart beat a little faster.

* * *

The next time she saw the girl was only three days later.

Gwen had been working late, and had almost considered calling a cab, but she'd forgotten to pick up more cash that morning, and the chances of finding a taxi that took cards was slim, so she had rushed to the station as normal.

The carriage was virtually empty, when the train eventually arrived. Gwen wrinkled her nose at the familiar scent of urine that permeated the entire of the London underground and hopped on. She had plenty of seats to choose from for once, so she picked the least dirty looking one, next to a girl in a maroon hoodie.

And then she realised her mistake.

The girl was _the woman._

The woman who she had not been thinking about for the last few days. The woman who she had not daydreamed about. The woman who hadn't made Gwen smile softly at the memory of the way her hair brushed against her temples. And Gwen had certainly not felt a sharp, hot stab of desire run through her when she had remembered the woman's jaw line or her long neck. No. It couldn't be the same girl.

The girl next to Gwen was wearing baggy, torn jeans with what looked like mud on them. Her hoodie proudly said, 'SH & SK FENCING' in white. Gwen briefly called up an image of a pristine woman in white, flicking a sword in perfect arcs.

And Gwen ached, because the girl looked so sad and so _fierce_ at the same time, and she just wanted to take her in her arms and say that whatever happened, it was all right.

But she didn't.

Instead, what she said was: 'Nice hoodie.' Her hands knotted together in her lap. That was _so_ not the right thing to say. But it was better than, 'My God, you're gorgeous and I think about your eyes when I'm supposed to be working, but why are you sad? Tell me and I'll fix it.'

The girl looked up, startling like a deer. Gwen smiled at the thought of someone so fierce looking like a deer. Then the woman's features settled into a glare, and Gwen felt herself shrivel a little. 'Haha, very funny,' the girl said drily.

No, no, this is going wrong, thought Gwen desperately. 'That's not what I meant!' she said out loud. 'I think it's pretty.' _I think you're pretty._

Now the girl's frown seemed perplexed rather than angry. 'Why?'

Gwen sought desperately for something that didn't sound creepy, and when she couldn't find anything, she just shrugged and said, 'I just do.'

The girl looked at her suspiciously.

'Look,' Gwen said, desperately searching for the right words, 'I thought you looked unhappy, and maybe you needed someone to talk to or something.' Her hands were twisting in her skirt again, and Gwen thought she was going hyperventilate when the girl reached out and closed a hand over hers.

'I-' The girl looked like she was trying not to say something rude or snarky, but Gwen honestly didn't care because they were holding hands and it felt perfect. The woman took a deep breath. 'Look my family life is hanging by a thread, so,' she pressed her lips together, 'thank you. That means a lot.'

 _I can't breathe._ The girl was absently running her thumb over Gwen's hand and Gwen wanted to savour this moment, but her heart was beating so fast and she couldn't think straight.

The girl gave her an amused look. Gwen could have banged her head against the filthy windows of the train, because she was an obvious idiot.

'I have a very, very bad idea,' said the woman.

Gwen was staring at their hands, admiring the contrast between dark and pale skin. 'What?' she asked breathlessly.

' _This.'_ And suddenly the woman leant forward and kissed her. The angle was wrong, and it was clumsily aggressive. The kiss was so fierce that Gwen could almost feel her lips bruising, and she stiffened for a moment, before melting completely into the sensation. The woman gasped, as though not expecting this reaction, and Gwen could not resist the opportunity to slip her tongue between the woman's lips, overwhelmed by the rich, dark taste of her.

Eventually, they pulled away, panting, and once Gwen was out of the moment she felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her. She was not the sort of person who went around randomly kissing people on the underground. She had a reputation for being a 'good girl'; the kind of person who goes to bed early and always gets to work on time.

The girl seemed to read her reaction on her face, because she said, 'I'm sorry. I told you it was a bad idea.' She let go of Gwen's hand like it burned, and Gwen tried to tell herself that she didn't already miss the warmth of it. 'I don't even know your name,' the woman continued, looking away.

And something about the vulnerability in the woman's voice cut through some barrier in Gwen. This woman was hurt and sad and she deserved love and - _fuck it._ Gwen wasn't always a good girl, and she would get what she wanted for once.

'I'm Gwen,' she said, holding out a hand again. 'And I want to ask you out. What are you doing for dinner?'

The woman's smile lit up her whole face - and that was a cliche, but it was true; she seemed to glow with warmth. 'I'm Morgana, and I am going out to dinner with the incredibly beautiful woman I just met.'

**Author's Note:**

> I actually own Morgana's hoodie. SH & SK is a private school, so Morgana could have gone there.


End file.
